I was given
a copy of Now or Never as an ARC from
the lovely Jamie Canosa, and below you will find my review. First off,
let me start by saying that you have
to read Fight or Flight. If you have,
great. If you haven’t, you might want to.
I read Fight or Flight months ago, and upon
finding out that there would be a sequel, I found myself counting down the days
until I could see what would happen next with Jay and Em. Because of that, I
had extremely high expectations for Now
or Never.
Let me be the
first to say that Jamie has far exceeded those expectations. Jay and Em met on
the streets, homeless runaways trying to keep themselves safe from their
haunted pasts. They are immediately drawn to each other and they fall in love
(I’m skipping all the really juicy details because I seriously want you to read
Fight or Flight and see how amazingly
both stories fit together).
How I felt when I finished reading Now or Never. |
NON picks up where FOF ended. Jay and Em are living together, trying to make ends
meet, and nothing is much different than when they lived on the streets except
for the fact that they’ve got somewhere to call home and at least a little bit
of money to keep themselves afloat. It is beautifully written, suspenseful, and led me on an emotional roller coaster that I never wanted to get off of.
There is so
much that I can say about this book, and I honestly don’t want to give anything
away. I told myself before I started reading that I would read it with an open
mind and try to be impartial about it, even though I was sure I was in love
with Jay, and didn’t want my love for him to cloud my judgment (verdict: I’m
still very much in love with him). Putting my infatuation with him aside, there
was absolutely nothing wrong with
this book.
Here's an excerpt:
"I left knowing what he was. What did I think? He would just stop? I-I didn't even warn anyone." A sob broke free as she buried her face in her hands.
"Shh." Jay slid across the vinyl bench and pulled her into his arms. She went willingly, for which he was undeniably grateful. "You didn't cause this. You didn't cause any of this, Em. You did what you had to do. You escaped. You survived. That's nothing to be ashamed of."
"But I knew she lived next door. I didn't even--"
"No. I didn't think of it either. My first, last, and only thought was and always will be you, Em."
That scene alone gave me chills.
Here's an excerpt:
"I left knowing what he was. What did I think? He would just stop? I-I didn't even warn anyone." A sob broke free as she buried her face in her hands.
"Shh." Jay slid across the vinyl bench and pulled her into his arms. She went willingly, for which he was undeniably grateful. "You didn't cause this. You didn't cause any of this, Em. You did what you had to do. You escaped. You survived. That's nothing to be ashamed of."
"But I knew she lived next door. I didn't even--"
"No. I didn't think of it either. My first, last, and only thought was and always will be you, Em."
That scene alone gave me chills.
You know
those books where the couple starts off in this honeymoon phase and then shit
gets rocky toward the climax?
Now or Never's gorgeous cover! |
NON isn’t that kind of book. Jay and Em
are damaged, and heartbreakingly so. The book starts off with Jay having a
nightmare, and seriously, the ugly crying started there. I was immediately
taken back to the day I read FOF
(yes, it was so good, I read it all in a day) and I was in math class, my hand
yearning to turn on my Kindle and keep reading. That’s exactly what happened
with FOF. I had an exam to take, and
all throughout the exam, all I could think about is “What the HELL is going to
happen next?” Yes, it’s THAT
brilliant.
It
ultimately broke my heart that even though things are slightly better, both Jay
and Em have some serious shit that they need to work through. They love each
other deeply, more deeply than anyone can fathom (*cough* Mason *cough*. Okay,
sorry, I actually do like Mason).
What’s more, is that although Em is far from a damsel in distress (she’s
damaged, but Em is not weak, not by a
longshot), all that Jay wants to do is protect her. Not protection in that
overbearing fatherly way, but protection in the way that he would do anything
to keep from hurting her, or watch her get hurt (Mason is on the receiving end
of that anything, ha ha).
Honestly,
the only thing that bothered me was the fact that even though Jay and Em love
each other, even though they would do anything to protect each other, they
can’t see themselves as the wonderfully beautiful human beings that they are,
and that is devastating.
What I loved
the most though was the extreme difference between FOF and NON. In the
first, Jay and Em are virtually on their own (even though there’s an appearance
from Al, who I luuurve—Buy Al’s story, Sink or Swim, here) and they have no one
that they can trust. In the latter, however, Jay and Em find actual friendship.
Mason cares about Em (perhaps more than he should, hence him being on the
receiving end of Jay’s anything,
which was incredibly hot, by the way). He’s nearly as protective of her as Jay
is—however, he’s missing the piece of the puzzle as to why—which is pretty awesome in my book. And then there’s Ashlyn.
Oh, man, do I LOVE Ashlyn! She is spunky and awesome and hilarious, and even
though she’s big on gossip, she really just
wants to be Em’s friend and support her, no strings attached—which is something
that Em desperately needs. And even though Jay was being a total asshat for a
while—still love you, Jay—Ashlyn wants to be his friend as well. Neither of them has ever had a friend like
that, but I think everyone needs a
friend like that.
I don’t
normally give 5 star reviews. I’m really picky about who I give that 5th
star to. And even though I’m in love with Jay, I did my best to be totally and completely impartial, and I
am positive that Now or Never is
deserving of my 5th star.
Here’s why:
-Jay. I
seriously don’t need to say anymore.
-I got
irritated with my family members because they were making too much noise while
I was trying to read. I legit had to turn up the volume and put my headphones
in and drown them out.
-I ugly
cried like nobody’s business. I stopped eating my dinner, pushed away from the
table, and honestly had my hand to my mouth the entire last few chapters,
trying to stifle my sobs as rivers upon rivers of ugly tears streamed down my
face. It takes a lot to get that type of reaction out of me, so kudos, Jamie.
-When I
realized I was about to get to the end, I almost wanted to stop reading. I
didn’t want it to be over. I wanted it to keep going forever and ever until Jay
and Em got married and had babies and oh my god it just can’t be over is there
another installment coming Jamie because I need another installment my heart
couldn’t take it if this was the end so if there’s more to this story please
tell me when its coming so I can count down the days. (Yeah, it’s that fucking
brilliant).
-I loved
Ashlyn and Mason (happy they’re getting their own book, by the way). I honestly
believe that the best parts of anyone’s story are the people that they share it
with. Ashlyn and Mason were central to this story and honestly, Jay and Em
needed them more than they realize.
-Em is a
total badass. She thinks she’s weak, she thinks she’s a useless coward
(seriously, I kind of want to slap her every time she even thinks this phrase. Like, no, Em. You’re not a useless coward), but
she’s not. She’s strong and beautiful
and brave and I totally admire her. She’s bent, but she’s not broken. Far from
it, my friends.
-I wanted to
throw my phone. I seriously contemplated throwing my phone multiple times
because this book angered me, then I realized that if I did, it might break,
and I wouldn’t be able to keep reading.
-I ugly
fucking cried. I cry all the time,
over everything. But rarely do I ugly
cry. On my list of books I’ve ugly cried reading: My Sister’s Keeper, The Guardian, The Great Gatsby, Les Miserables, The
Fault in Our Stars. You see the pattern here? All ah-mazing books. Now or Never
is now on that list.
-Jay. Yes
I’m repeating this. He’s enough to make me read this again, which I probably
will later on today.
So as I end
this incredibly long review about how much I loved Now or Never, I’ll leave you all with a few of my most memorable
quotes:
-“It is not
okay. I know your limits, Em. I understand them. I respect them. And I pushed
you too far.” –Jay (seriously, Jay is perfect).
-“Careful. I
wouldn’t want to infect you.”
Jay scowled
down at her. “When it comes to you, I’m already a goner.”
-“I come
bearing pizza. If you don’t let me in, Ash will kick you out.” (Mason)
“It’s true!”
Ashlyn’s voice carried from down the hall. “Pizza is the magic word around
here. Let the man in.”
-“Maybe
simpler isn’t the right word, either. But things were…clearer. I knew exactly
where we stood. It was you and me against the world, Jay. And despite those
horribly bad odds, we kept coming out on top. Together. We accomplished so much
together.” –Em.
-“I’d never
had someone waiting for me to come home before. Not ever. That’s when I
realized that is what you’d made this place. You’d taken this dank, dilapidated
hole in the wall unfit for human occupancy and turned it into a home. My home. Simply because you were there.”
–Jay.
-“Slaved
over it, huh?” Em eyed the takeout bags in the trash and couldn’t stop the
small smile from curving her lips.
“Yeah, well,
I drove, and ordered, and lugged it all back here.”-Ash
-She wasn’t
a useless coward. Not anymore. She
was beautiful. And strong. And brave, dammit. That’s what Jay saw in her. And that was what she
needed to see in herself.
-“I’m not
weak, either, you son of a bitch.” –Jay.
-“We see
each other as whole, and remind each other that those good things are
there—inside us—even if we can’t see them ourselves.” –Em.
Now or Never was nothing short of amazing. I'd highly recommend it to anyone who will listen.
Buy Now or Never on Amazon
Buy Now or Never on Amazon
Yeah Jamie!!
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